Archive for June, 2005

Lame Top10 winners

Posted: June 30, 2005 in Uncategorized
I was on the right track, tho’. Three of the winners were dangerously similar to mine. Are mine funnier? You decide…
Top Ten Signs You’re Not One of the Most Powerful Celebrities
10. You throw a phone at a hotel employee and nobody cares
          The hotel concierge fearlessly hands you a telephone
5. You have absolutely no connection whatsoever with Kevin Bacon
      You’re not even within SEVEN degrees of Kevin Bacon
1. After committing a crime, you are actually convicted
          You can’t even get acquitted of jaywalking

Tom Cruise: Sith Lord

Posted: June 27, 2005 in Uncategorized

Tom kills Oprah. Good times…

Saw Batman Begins on Sunday, at Pacific Place. Actually a very good film, and Joker isn’t the one who killed his folks (as it was incorrectly portrayed in the first film). And this is more of the Dark Knight than the first one, too. Nice plot twist toward the end. The only thing that bothered me was a scene where Katie Holmes is about to kiss Bruce Wayne, and on a close-up she does this really weird thing with her facial expression, mostly with her lips…I couldn’t help but think, "Hey Katie, you ain’t a love-struck 16-year-old, and this ain’t the WB!" But otherwise, definitely a film to see on the big screen.

Would it really be art?

Posted: June 21, 2005 in Uncategorized

In an interview for War of the Worlds, Spielberg sez that five to seven years from now directors will be able to make movies without real actors…"a fully digital human being that would interface with other human beings and would be undetectable. You will not be able to tell the actor from the digital actor."

He sez it terrifies him, and crosses a moral boundary. But he follows by saying it’s an art form, and that there’s nothing wrong with that.

Let’s look at this from the point of music. Let’s say Brian May writes a new masterpiece, and he needs Freddy to sing it to achieve the vision he has. Decades of tapes are digitized and software analyses is done on every attack of each vowel, each nuance, each moment when he needs to inhale before hitting the next falsetto attack. A facsimile is compiled for every individual note, categorized into a massive library, and meticulously gone thru to find the closest match for each moment of the new songs, manipulated for both lead and harmony tracks.

It’s perfect. Exactly what Brian envisioned for his latest work. And therein lies the problem.

Queen was never a one-man band. Each member fed off the other. Each provided their own talents and visions, each helped the others achieve a new enlightenment of their own capabilities, each helped the others realize their potentials as individuals and as a team. They utilized this group synergy to grow, to strive for greater understanding of their talents, and to build upon their past and future accomplishments.

Brian would never be able to achieve any of that with a "fake Freddy". Whatever he could have come up with, past or present or future, could only be realized…and improved upon…by a real-life Freddy Mercury.

And that’s where the masterpiece would fail.

People have an emotional pact with music that shapes their lives. They remember the song playing during their first kiss, they have songs that make them feel better during times they feel down, they have many different songs that are tied into special memories. And movies provide similar types of feelings or escape…and have special memories of the actors that made those movies special.

To think that something fake can create a special feeling or memory in the human psyche is against eons of how people associate feelings with art.

Spielberg shouldn’t feel terrified. He should feel pity for those who take the very core of what makes movies great…the actors…and provide something else that is totally fake as a way to entertain people.

People don’t trust things that are fake. And without that trust, people won’t love the movie.

And that means it’s not art.

Top 10 submissions

Posted: June 19, 2005 in Uncategorized

I sometimes send submissions to Letterman’s weekly Top 10 contest. I’ve won a T-shirt and mousepad so far. They seem to only do mousepads now, but I’m hoping that if I win again I could get a coffee mug or baseball cap. Here’s a few submissions I’ve made this week, tune in next week to find out if one of them was selected…

Top Ten Signs You’re Not One of the Most Powerful Celebrities

  • No other celebrity has pressured you to wear that stupid red string
  • The hotel concierge fearlessly hands you a telephone
  • You can’t even get acquitted of jaywalking
  • Your "diva list of demands" isn’t even considered unless it’s submitted on a single Post-It note
  • Your own trailer? No, but your own pup-tent is over yonder…
  • Paris kicks you off your own show
  • Telling the maitre’d you’re a Yankee gets you a table next to the kitchen door
  • You’re not even within SEVEN degrees of Kevin Bacon

Lazy Sunday, watching NASCAR. I tuned into the Formula 1 race for a few minutes, just to hear what they were saying about 14 of the drivers quitting the race after the warm-up lap…that was rather bizarre. I should be outside doing more yard work, instead of typing a stupid blog entry…

It’s a half-hour before MJ’s verdict is to be read, so stories are all fast-n-furious at and other news sites. Numerous pictures, one of which has me doing a double-take: an anti-MJ protester wearing a sandwich board that reads, "WARNING TO ALL: Drunkards, Idolators, Fornicators, Atheist (editor’s note: yes, it’s singular, not plural), General Heathen, Sodomites, Witches, Liars, Abortionist (editor’s note: yes, again in the singular), Adulters, Satanis (editor’s note: roles off, can’t say if it’s singular…my guess is that it is) HELL AWAITS YOU."

What’s missing here…hmmm. Oh, yes…pedophile. Is he anti-MJ, or is he against all of MJ’s fans? You be the judge. Hope he didn’t pay too much for that sign…

Bad name, IBM…

Posted: June 13, 2005 in Uncategorized

IBM is about to announce their next "fastest supercomputer". But according to, those morons are going to call it "Watson BlueGene".

C’mon, guys! It sounds WAAAAY too close to "Watson Blue Screen", and everybody knows you either get Watson, or you get a blue screen…you can’t have both! Why don’t you just name it, "Perpetual Downtime" or something.

Reps R PWN3D!

Posted: June 6, 2005 in Uncategorized

The WA GOP suffered a far more depressing loss in court today than they suffered last November. That’s pretty significant, considering they won the election the first two times and lost it on the third count…you’d think that would be depressing enough. But on their turf, with their judge, they lost. The judge rejected just about <u>every single claim</u> the GOP made to try and overturn the election results and get a new election. Personally, I didn’t think the final decision would be so one-sided, but I didn’t expect the GOP to prevail, either.

I personally don’t have a staunch party affiliation, I usually vote for the person I think will do the job the best regardless of the party he/she belongs to. But this has been quite the entertaining circus act. I remember early in the exit polls that Rossi’s people were already publicly demanding Gregoire to conceed, even tho’ the race was way too tight to make an early call on the winner before all the votes were tallied. I thought they had a lot of balls to do that. And they demanded she concede again before the first recount started, insisting that it was a waste of time, and lo’ and behold, Rossi won again.

But machines are fallable, which was proven on the first recount when Rossi’s extremely slim margin of victory was reduced to a tiny sliver. Normally, election results have quite the large margin of difference, and therefore things like ballot machines that only properly count 99% of ballots, the discovery of lost ballots or the finding of 1600 illegal votes…even <i>combined</i>…could never be nearly enough to impact the outcome of millions of votes cast in an election. Statistically speaking, election results have a far smaller margin of error than something like a Gallop poll or even a government census.

But when a race is this close, that margin of error becomes a glaring spectacle.

I believe the hand-recount was the right thing to do. And arguing that a "proportional deduction" of illegal votes should be done would take us right back to the argument that every vote should count…the whole reason uncounted votes and a hand-recount was done in the first place. There’s no way to say that a "proportional deduction" could be acceptable because it’s a very cloudy numbers game. And real number crunchers insisted that Rossi would STILL lose on a "proportional deduction" recount.

The GOP has ten days to appeal to the State Supreme Court. My money is betting that they will do so…they are such sore losers that it’s the only possible course of action we could expect from them.

And so the entertaining circus will continue.

Edit: next day. Sure glad I don’t actually place bets with real money. Rossi’s team has decided not to take this any further. However, their reason is another cry-baby response: Rossi said the "political makeup" of the high court would make it almost impossible to get the judge’s ruling overturned. Translation: the high court cannot be fair and unbiased because they are primarily made up of democrats.

Otherwise, no mention of how his team got to choose the location and the court, and was able to successfully get so much evidence accepted by the judge for consideration…and still got thoroughly pummeled and buried alive. Yeah, that wouldn’t have helped them in the least with the high court, even if Rossi got to appoint each judge himself…but he will be the very last person to admit it.