Top 10 & a door sign

Posted: August 23, 2005 in Uncategorized
Assuming it was because of mistaken idea of ownership of the dogs shitting on a neighbor’s lawn, I taped the following sign on my front door this evening:
 
WE DON’T OWN DOGS
WE WERE NOT AMMUSED
NEXT TIME, SHIT ON THE CORRECT HOUSE
 
Hopefully, this will shame the a-hole enough to immediately scrounge around for a random pile of dogshit and hit the next door neighbor’s doorstep.
 
None of my submissions for last week’s Late Show Top 10 List Contest won, but at least the winning submissions were funny. Here are my submissions for this week’s topic, check in next week to see if one of them won…
 
Top Ten Things Overheard On President Bush’s Summer Vacation
  • How about we try selling tactical weapons at employee prices for everyone?
  • No, you are NOT getting me on another one of them damn Segways
  • Jenna! Barbara! Those beers you’re holding had better be for me!
  • "Hot enough for you?" You’re asking, HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? I’m trying to run a damn war, pad daddy’s retirement fund with 250% increases in gasoline prices, and people keep asking why we still ain’t going after Osama! Yeah, it’s hot enough for me! On the other hand, I can’t get re-elected again if I wanted, so screw it…
  • Dammit, my Tivo maxed out before the season finale of King of the Hill
  • Steroids? No! Really? Well, that explains a lot, actually…
  • What a great film! Was Dukes of Hazzard based on a true story?
  • You think anyone would notice if I waxed my back?

The game tonight was a flag-filled festival. We spent most of our time yelling at the refs. But certainly enjoyable, and the seats were great, we had a great vantage point whereas we could see the penalties happen without looking at the replay. Hasselbeck had a good night, but everybody else struggled once he left the field. Wallace has an uncanny ability to know when he’s about to get hit (and his offensive line made sure it would happen multiple times), so he was smart enough to just dump the ball at the last possible moment to avoid the sack or forced fumble, and he had a couple of really good scrambles. I can just imagine what Holmgren said to the team after the game, and that would be, "There is one bright spot about this game I can think of: it was a nationally televised game that was blacked out in your home town so that the majority of your fans didn’t have to watch that embarassing performance you guys think is a game of football." We started calling the third string "The Cut Team", or something like that. And jeezus, for a Monday night game, the stadium was practically half-empty!

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