Archive for January, 2006

I’m so out of shape…

Posted: January 29, 2006 in Uncategorized
Snowboard Sunday, and my legs are fried. Unless you worked at Snolqualmie and stayed overnight at "The Lodge" on Friday, you probably missed the greatest snow of the year on Saturday due to the pass being closed because of an avalanche, but the snow today was still quite excellent. The day actually started at 7AM when I pulled into the gas station in Totem Lake, and noticed a guy filling up his car…he was wearing a medic jersey, I noticed his ski pants and boots, and asked if he was working the mountain today. Once he realized I was talking to him, he said yeah, and I said something about how it’s cool that he’s up there to help people. So he asks where I ski, I answer Stevens but today it’s Snoqualmie, and he asks when I’m going up. "In 15 minutes…I just gotta get gas and hit Starbucks". The guy pulls out his fanny pack and gives me a coupon for a free day’s lift ticket.
 
Wow, was that nice, or what? Of course, it came with conditions: if I see him, I don’t know him, but we can wave . Second, no boarding out of bounds, no stupid stunts, he doesn’t want to haul my ass off the mountain.
 
Karl gave me a lesson, and now I’m doing much better turning on toe cuts (both directions). He left to give another guy a lesson, and I ran a couple of more on Central by myself and practiced. However, the day changed on the fifth time up, after lunch: my glove snagged on the chair while disembarking, and within a second it was off my hand and hanging on the rear rail, spinning around and heading back down to the bottom as I watched…dammit. Some guys said they watched it fall off just below, so we went to look for it, but where we needed to go was NOT a blue run, and I suddenly find myself trying to traverse The Spine…every time I thought I was actually getting it (and liking it), I did a fricken butt-check. Karl went to look for my glove on his own, advising that I just do heel-cuts down, but I ended up on a very steep hill, directly above the half-pipe. There were a lot of butt-checks on the way down that one, but I was able to work my way to the right, where the straight jumps are located…thank goodness nobody was there, and no, I did not do the jumps…I went around the side. I actually made it down. At that time, I realized my legs were fried, and now I can barely move.
 
Yes, Karl found my glove…it took going back up to spot it from the chair, but he found it. He reached bottom just after I did (yes, I board VERY slow)
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Aggies suck green donkey…

Posted: January 28, 2006 in Uncategorized
Texas A&M is telling the Seahawks to cease and desist referring to "The 12th Man" for home games. The Seahawks actually retired No. 12 six years before the Aggies trademarked the phrase "The 12th Man", and nobody sells merchandise labeled with the phrase because of the trademark, but just saying the phrase, or even just using the number alone, still has those cow-tippers all upset. Hey, unless they government falls asleep and they can trademark just the number, maybe they should shut the hell up and stop looking for brazen opportunities to promote their school.
 
Apparently the Motion Pictures Association of America (MPAA), the pissed off cousin of the Recording Industry Association of American (RIAA), the same MPAA that is doggedly persuing and suing or putting in jail anyone who copies movies and/or trades those copied movies on the ‘net, is being accused of a federal offense: they copied a DVD movie. Of all the stupid people there that could have done it, it turns out it was one of their lawyers! And then one of their VP’s publicly and openly tried to justify making the copy! Oh, the irony. Hopefully, the courts will decide the MPAA is not above their own laws. No word yet which illegal software they have installed on their corporate computers that was used to rip the disc…
 
Interesting story at Wired concerning the infamous Sony rootkit fiasco…it’s basically accusing the greatest intentional computer infection of all time squarely on the shoulders of security firms, and the company that brought you your operating system, Microsoft. Basically, F-Secure was the only security company that stood up and said what Sony did was wrong, while the rest flip-flopped for a few days before doing a half-assed attempt to secure your system after Sony screwed it up. They basically say that your machine was infected by a legitimate company, not criminals, so they didn’t detect or remove the spyware…and even now some still won’t remove the rootkit itself. Crappy McAfee, for example, will only remove the cloaking code, and also makes sure you understand that doing this will make your system unstable, leading to system crashes. Microsoft is in bed with the entire entertainment industry, pushing MCE and soon Vista, the HD-DVD format, and of course Digital Rights Management (DRM)…but they eventually caved in to public pressure, and updated their security tools for detecting and removing the rootkit. Too bad they don’t have any security tools for downlevel operating systems…if you’re still using Win98, you can’t turn to MS to help you re-secure your system. I suggest you 9x users visit GRC, run Shields UP! and learn how to lock down your machine. Of course, a format is really the only way you’re going to fully repair your system from the Sony rootkit. Current estimates are the number of infected systems on the ‘net has dropped way down to 350,000, but that number is probably conservative, and uninformed people are infecting more and more machines each day as they pop in an infected Sony CD. And I would guess that a third of those infected machines are already serving as Internet Zombies, sending up spam, warez and DoS attacks. Just like the Blaster worm, this is one problem on the Internet that can never be cured…are you sure your machine is secure?

Another Top10 list

Posted: January 23, 2006 in Uncategorized
Yeah, I just GOTTA have another stupid mousepad from Letterman’s Top10 Contest. Didn’t get a winner last week, so here are my submissions for this week…wish me luck, or send in your own damn funny lines…

Top Ten Signs Osama bin Laden Wants a Truce With the U.S.

  • He flashes a smile every time he proclaims, "I like Bush"
  • He’s hired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent
  • Professes his desire to audition for American Idol
  • Says that a Predator drone ruined his last pair of underwear
  • He wants to reunite with his long-lost twin brother, Pat Robertson
  • He offers to sell us Afghanistan for $24 in glass beads and trinkets
  • He was photographed cruising orphanages with Angelina Jolie
  • Says al-Zawahiri’s poetry recitals are driving him absolutely nuts
  • He wants to coach the Knicks
  • Claims he can take Peyton Manning to "the next level"
  • He wants to auction off his kidney stone
  • Claims he just bought tickets from Mike Tice and doesn’t want to miss Super Bowl XL
  • He filed a lawsuit against Boy George for stealing his "fashion sense"

In other news, the Long Island Lolita is going to be forgiven on reality TV by the guy with the greatest name in television news history. And when you think about it, what woman would actually want to marry, or for that matter want to screw a married man, named Buttafuoco anyway? This just goes to show that the best train wrecks NEVER end, folks…

Archaeologists just found a statue of one of the most important women of ancient Egypt, who was believed to be the first queen to have her name appear on official acts alongside her husband, and was known for her influence in state affairs during the reigns of both her husband and her son. When contacted by phone about this extraordinary find, Barbara Bush stated that she had no comment…other than the fact that the statue got her hip size wrong…

Some jackass grabs Scarlett Johansson’s breast, looks down Teri Hatcher’s dress, and queries Eva Longoria about her hair (and it’s NOT the area loaded down with hairspray…). All this horrendous behavior results in getting a swank, high-profile job walking the carpet at the Academy Awards. Folks, if this is what you can get away with by being openly gay, and get paid, it’s time I come out of the frickin’ closet…screw this software development employee options crap…

Everybody picks the Steelers to win SuperBowl XL. Here in Seattle, we don’t care…cuz every game prediction has been wrong so far for the ‘hawks, why should this one be any different? Think about it for just a second…the supposed AFC contenders Indy and New England were eliminated WEEKS ago, and the ‘hawks were the ones that were projected to lose back then, and every week since then. Most of Sports Illustrated’s writers said the ‘hawks would tank against Carolina this week…the experts don’t know shit.

Seahawks XL

Posted: January 22, 2006 in Uncategorized
Hell-ohhhh, DETROIT! What a complete domination of the Panthers! Five out of six writers from Sports Illustrated said the Seahawks would lose! Just goes to show you that the experts can be smoking crack, too. The Panther’s No. 1 threat, Steve Smith, was completely shut down (nobody can argue this), interceptions and overall defense put the ‘hawks into great field position all day (which killed Hasselbeck’s numbers), and during the 3rd quarter Jake Delhomme’s passer rating was a phenomenal ONE POINT SIX!!!! And at the same moment, Hasselbeck’s passer rating was well over 120, so that right there kinda tells the story of this game…
 
Game balls:
Alexander would be the easy pick for the offense. However, don’t be surprised if the ball is given to Hasselbeck, he was the perfect general out there. Josh Brown missed a field goal, but he made his other attempts and the extra points, plus successfully pulled the fake field goal for a pooch-punt that pinned the Panthers deep, so he’s my pick for special teams. Tatupu got the first interception, which set the tone for the entire defense and the game, so he’s my pick for the defense, but don’t be surprised if the entire defense has to share the ball…the "bend but don’t break" defense never bent at all, and they broke Carolina’s back.
 
Best play of the game:
Pass completion TO our back-up quarterback, Seneca Wallace! Bad pass, awesome adjustment for the catch! Who knew he would even get to play, much less get a key reception?
 
Next up: Steelers. I was really hoping for Denver. I hated them more than the Raiders because the Broncos repeatedly played spoiler to keep the ‘hawks out of the play-offs back when we were in the AFC West, and then they would totally tank, three Superbowls in a row…I really wanted the ‘hawks to beat them in the Big Dance. Plus, the Steelers are the only team in the entire play-offs that I believe would actually give the Seahawks a damn-hard game.
 
And then George calls me from Hawaii! I’m watching the game by myself, and suddenly I felt like I was watching with everyone. What a great surprise call.
 
Need to get to Costco and stock up on beer…

My voice is hoarse…

Posted: January 15, 2006 in Uncategorized
George took me to the Seahawks vs Redskins game, and all we did was add to the decibel rating all day. Like an idiot, I wore a warm fleece sweater, which just happened to be maroon in color…I didn’t even think about how it was a Redskin color. I kept getting shit from people, many of which did a double-take and they realized it was a DisneyWorld shirt, but it still didn’t matter to them…it was the color of the enemy! So while waiting in line for our first beer just before kick-off, I pulled it and packed it.
 
It seemed every time the ‘hawks got a rhythm going, some asshole would change the music, and after a long while the ‘skins were the first to put points on the board. Plus, Alexander suffered a concussion in the first quarter and got pulled. In the past, things like this would give the other team a major advantage, and Seahawk "history" would raise its ugly head once again. But like I said in October, this team is different…this year is different. Hasselbeck took control, our defense bent but never broke (again), and now we’re hosting the NFC championship game! Just one win from the Big Dance! YaY!
 
Next week: the Panthers. They’ve got a smash-mouth defense, just like the Redskins…they handled the Bears in what was my pick of the best game of the weekend. I’m thinking the ‘hawks offense will stutter but still put on an impressive performance, just like they did this week, and hopefully Alexander will have a breakout performance (yes, he’s expected back).
 
The Steelers had to bring their "A-game" to beat the Colt’s "B-minus game", just as the Steeler’s quarterback Roethlisberger predicted earlier this week. And the Colts definitely brought their "B-game". However, the Steelers weren’t just trying to beat the Colts this week…they were trying the beat the referees! Good gawd, an extremely obvious defensive pass interference was completely ignored by the refs! Then there’s the interception: three knees that hit the ground, the ball never touched the ground, and no loss of control…but it was ruled an incomplete pass because the defender then fumbled after getting back up! I saw at least one other call that the officials totally flubbed, and the game commentators were asking aloud, "What do the refs see that we can’t see?" The nail-biter at the end of the game would never have happened if it weren’t for the refs…the Steelers probably would otherwise have blown the Colts away (sorry Nick, it’s the truth). At least this year Manning didn’t say anything that rhymed with "idiot" after the game when discussing his place kicker.
 
Now that the year-long Super Bowl favorites are vanquished, the odds-makers are saying Denver will advance beyond the AFC championship and win it all, beating the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. However, just like the refs, the odds-makers ignored the fact that the Steelers had to overcome obscenely bad calls (or no calls) to win the game…if the play-calling is fair, the only real advantage Denver has is the thin air, and that won’t be enough.
 
The ‘hawks played a smash-mouth defense this week, and will have to do it again next week. I predict they’ll have to do it a third time against the Steelers.
 
Okay, enough football for now. Let’s take a look at this week’s Letterman Top 10 contest subject, and my submissions to win another stupid mouse pad…
 
Angelina Jolie’s Top Ten Pet Peeves About Brad Pitt
  • Unlike herself, he only has ONE tattoo…and it says "Jennifer Forever"
  • He always conveniently "forgets" to wear her vial of blood
  • He comes home every Sunday morning beaten to a pulp, says he was at "the club", and refuses to talk about it
  • His constant bragging to friends that he has prettier lips
  • He keeps pressuring her to team up for The Amazing Race: Cambodia!
  • He wants to go back to the "Billy Idol" look
  • He just throws his dirty socks and underwear on the closet floor, right on top of her ammunition
  • He always has to give her "constructive criticism" on how she handles her weapons
  • Every time someone asks why he dumped Jennifer, he jokingly points at her chest and says, "I’ll give you TWO reasons"
  • He’s always stuffing his mouth with food while they’re visiting orphanages
  • Every time she tells him to stop acting like an idiot, he goes into his "12 Monkeys" routine
  • Always brags that any of his characters could kick Harry Potter’s ass

The advertisements warned us that everything would change in the first 15 minutes. They weren’t lying. But the wife and I are hard-pressed to decide which was the biggest surprise of this first 15 minutes of 24 Day 5:

  • President Palmer is shot and killed by a sniper
  • Michelle is killed by a car bomb
  • Tony is in critical condition
  • Chloe got laid

Vote early, vote often…

$150 for a Bud?

Posted: January 13, 2006 in Uncategorized
Some podunk city in Ohio banned alcohol 131 years ago, and they finally lifted the ban this week. Some podunk dude wins an auction to be the first person to legally drink a beer, at the cost of $150. So what does he get for his money? A Budweiser. Yuk! I wouldn’t drink a Bud if you moved the decimal point three spots to the left…what a doof…

Sold my trusty Nissan

Posted: January 7, 2006 in Uncategorized
The kid is 20 years old, and he got an extremely well-maintained 16-year-old Nissan Hardbody truck. When he first saw the Cobras mounted on the Outlaws, he couldn’t contain himself: "Those are sweet." All I could say was, "Yes, they are…"
 
When I was his age, I didn’t have a vehicle nearly as nice, much less with sweet wheels/tires. No, I had a ’72 Vista Cruiser. The only bonus was that I got it for free. That car got me out of Pullman, and there was a seven week period it saved my skin, but is otherwise an embarrassing footnote in car ownership for me. This truck is not an embarrassment for him, and he seemed genuinely excited to get it.
 
Part of me will miss that truck…it was my first brand-new vehicle, and it served me extremely well. Even as the kid was starting the truck to drive away, I said, "Take care of it". I don’t know why I blurted that out, I guess it’s cuz I never let anybody else drive it until now, and it made me nervous that some kid was behind the wheel. His dad assured me he would take care of it, since dad was paying for most of it. Especially with the extra wheels/tires, it was worth way more than blue-book, but I think I got a decent price, and the kid got a great deal on a reliable, well-maintained, good-looking truck.
 
I just hope he enjoys it.