Late Show Top10 entries

Posted: May 23, 2006 in Uncategorized
Yup, I wanna win again, but I think CBS doesn’t like me anymore. Anyway, here’s my submissions for this week’s contest, hopefully one will win me a shiny new mousepad:
Top Ten Signs You’re On A Bad Cruise Ship
  • During a late evening walk on the deck, you come across Donald beating the crap out of Goofy
  • Small print on your ticket indicates no refund in the event of icebergs or an enormous wave
  • You see rats scramble off as soon as the boat docks
  • The captain is wearing a button that reads "Beer-chugging Champion!"
  • Instead of side railings on the deck, there is a 6-inch wide line that reads, "Do not cross"
  • Even the bottled water tastes salty
  • Two words: nuclear powered
  • Needs jumper cables to get the engine started
  • Crew members are ALWAYS wearing their life vests
  • All of the life rings are old Michelin tires
  • When the captain blows the ship’s horn, it sounds just like the General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard
  • Every deck hand tells you his name is "Gopher"
  • One of the ports of call is listed as "To be determined in the Persian Gulf"
  • When buying your ticket, the agent conveniently forgot to tell you the name of your ship is "The Scientologist"
  • How do vultures get this far out to sea…?
  • Skeet shooting event uses seagulls for targets

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