Have you seen Suri…?

Posted: August 4, 2006 in Uncategorized
If you have, grab a reporter, they want to write about it! TomKat’s baby has been MIA essentially since the day it was born. But starting last week several celebrity Scientologists, most recently Tom’s ex, have insisted they’ve seen the kid, and that it does actually exist. And apparently there’s a reason nobody else gets to see it…it’s reportedly the most beautiful baby ever produced outside of a laboratory.
Obviously, TomKat is under the opinion that nobody has ponied up enough money to publish exclusive pics of the kid. Like, as if they would actually be able to one-up Brangelina…
I sense another South Park episode being written. It’ll be called "The Search for Suri"
NFL refs are getting a fashion makeover for next season. It’s going to be strange, since they’ve never switched uniforms during my lifetime. However, did you know back in the ’30s the referees wore bow ties and beanies? They obviously got tired of getting beat up after games.
Some Generals in DC think civil war in Iraq might happen. They obviously have been sniffing glue (yes, I’m over-using the word "obviously" today, shuddap). Two days after the occupation began, a prominent Imam…one the US pegged as a potential future leader of Iraq…was assasinated. What is the first objective in a war, even civil war? That’s right…take out the leaders. Other assasinations and bombings of police stations, etc have occurred on a regular basis over the last couple of years. And our "think tanks" believe it COULD happen…? You could tell these morons their fly is open, and they wouldn’t look down to confirm.

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