Futbawl and Top10

Posted: September 14, 2006 in Uncategorized
The Top 10 part is, of course, another attempt to get another Late Show mousepad…which BTW my last one still hasn’t arrived after more than two months. First, the futbawl predictions for Week 2:
  • Redskins over Cowboys (the ‘skins sucked in the pre-season, but what a great game against the Vikings…even tho’ they lost. Bledsoe is gonna get hammered by the D)
  • Eagles over Giants (it’s their home turf, they feel good after last week’s win, no T.O. crap to deal with, and their D is better than the Colt’s D from last week…Eli is gonna have his hands full)
  • Jets over Patriots (the Pats had an ugly win last week, their top receiver is gone, and Pennington always plays good early in the season…until he gets hurt)
  • Saints over Packers (Bush had a lot of all-purpose yards last week, and Green Bay still doesn’t know how to lace up their Reeboks)
  • Broncos over Chiefs (I hate to say it…the Chiefs are starting one of the Huard boys, ’nuff said)
  • Falcons over the Bucs (another home turf-comin’ off a win-situation)
  • Bengals over the Browns (they had a good game plan last week, watch it continue)
  • Ravens over Raiders (if I pick the Raiders again this year, somebody just drown me in Coors Light, m-kay?)
  • Lions over Bears (both had good games last week, but the cats are hungry, and the Bears only had to show up against the Packers last week…)
  • Colts over Texans (puh-leeze…the spread on this game must be 56 or something like that)
  • Dolphins over the Bills (this one is actually too close to call)
  • Vikings over Panthers (who was that old man on the field last week? And could he be giving Montana ideas of coming back?)
  • 49’ers over the Rams (good lord, they can actually SCORE! And try to do it quick, too…my first upset game of the week)
  • Seahawks over Cardinals (watch Branch get activated, just to act as a decoy in a four-receiver set…only to get the ball handed off to Alexander for a 55-yard break-out run)
  • Titans over Chargers (troubles in the QB world…but something tells me Young is going in when it seems all is lost…my second upset game of the week)
  • Steelers over Jaguars (just good enough in the first half last week, then taking control in the second half…they’ve got a rhythm going)

Top Ten Rejected Katie Couric Sign-Offs

  • Good night, and I’m not wearing pants.
  • Dan Rather is my bitch
  • No dogs told me what to say tonight.
  • G’nite, homies
  • No crew members were harmed in the making of this newscast
  • …and I can’t believe I’m working for CBS. Is anybody watching this?
  • Show me some love, people
  • Four days, and counting, without doing another story on Britney Spears
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