Archive for January, 2007

Courtney Love told Us Magazine that the executive producer for American Idol called and wanted her to sit in as a judge for the show. OK, that might be good for a few laughs for one episode, especially if she shows up in the same condition she was in for Pamela Anderson’s roast last year. Otherwise, I’m not sure why somebody who would definitely get belittled when trying to exit thru the "wrong door" would be asked to judge Idol contestants.

Of course, in keeping with time-honored tabloid tradition, Us Magazine also says that a "source" claims the producer is actually considering that Courtney would replace Paula. Obviously, their "source" must be Kurt’s disembodied spirit, who’s having another laugh at Courtney’s expense.

Me, I just keep wishing she would show up here. And win…

Scared of the F-14 Tomcat?

Posted: January 30, 2007 in Uncategorized

<this post brought to you by Windows Live Writer Beta!>
The U.S. warplane made famous by Maverick and Goose was retired last year. However, it’s still one of the most advanced and deadliest aircraft in the skies today. And today, the U.S. government suddenly remembered that they sold about 80 of these planes to Iran 30 years ago…and has stopped production of spare parts sold to help maintain them, fearing that the parts would make their way to Iran.

Thhhpppt. Big deal. At least three of those planes are confirmed lost. The Western arms embargo enforced due to the Iranian hostage crisis put spare parts out of reach for years…as a result, when the Iran/Iraq war heated up, the Iranians were cannibalizing some planes to keep others flying, maybe keeping 15-20 Tomcats in the air. It’s rumored that some parts got smuggled to them via Israel, while other parts can be manufactured by Iran themselves. Could they have re-bolstered their working numbers up to 60 since the war ended, or are they closer to having maybe 35 still in operation?

And does that matter? After all, their friendly Iraqi neighbor Saddam gifted them about 120 near-perfect MiGs during Desert Storm (well, Iran agreed to let Saddam "park" them in Iran for awhile so that the U.S. couldn’t keep shooting them down…that favor didn’t really work out for Iraq’s air force). What the U.S. should be more concerned about is how much support Iran is getting from Russia to maintain that mountain of MiGs they’ve got stashed all over the place…and then worry about how much support Russia gives to modify the rest of Iran’s aging F-14 fleet.

Where’s the hoopla?

Posted: January 29, 2007 in Uncategorized
The Vista launch was b-o-o-ring! I made sure to be in my office before the telecast from NY began and watch it on my TV, cuz the RedWest cafeteria acoustics absolutely sucks and the room is always over-full. But even from my office, it wasn’t worth watching.
 
In contrast, I was sent to San Francisco seven years ago to participate in the Windows 2000 launch. It was hosted by Patrick Stewart (who, BTW, should stick with his day job commanding star ships). There were humorous skits done with a couple of other famous people. BillG bragged about how W2K benchmarks showed a 32% increase in performance over Win95 and 38% performance increase over Win98 on the same platform (which isn’t surprising to anyone, since the benchmarks were all done using processors based on P6 architecture…on the older P5 procs, W2K gets trounced). Two walls of Compaq Presario PII/350 machines were unveiled to the crowd, all supposedly running W2K (we saw the power lights on, who knows if any actually had hardware inside). A moment was dedicated to the people who built it, and the lights got focused on our section for a couple of seconds to applause. And the afternoon was wrapped up by Santana. It was a very entertaining launch…and in comparison, what I saw today was almost depressing.
 
Even stranger was the end: hosted locally (at Pebble Beach cafe?), they dropped a ton of ballons from the ceiling after the video feed from NY was finished. Many people caught a ballon to take as a souveneir or whatever. But most appeared to hit the floor…and there was popping sounds and I could see people picking up deflated balloons. I think I saw maybe two people try to bounce balloons back into the air, but they gave up very quickly. What happened to the excitement and the way people in this company celebrate an OS release, anyway? Weird…

Happy 50th AND 54th, Slemmer!

Posted: January 26, 2007 in Uncategorized
Imagine it’s your birthday: you’re 54! Now imagine getting arrested on that birthday…for the 50th time! And she told the arresting officer she was having a bad day (sounds like she has a lot of crappy birthdays). I’ve never even heard of somebody getting arrested more than 30 times, but I suppose that’s because most of them are incarcerated for years at a time and don’t have the opportunities to be completely brain-locked. So now the question is: does the judge FINALLY shove this moron into a jail cell, or give her some sort of award? The second question would be: if she’s released again, does the judge get a stupidity award? Think about it: there’s nearly a quarter-million drivers behind the wheel in Washington state with suspended licenses, nearly all without insurance…you wanna get rear-ended or T-boned by one of these morons? Cuz chances are, one of those people will be the one that hits you…there is a good reason that they aren’t allowed to legally drive, after all…

VAN HALEN! sort of…

Posted: January 26, 2007 in Uncategorized
Diamond Dave said last year that getting back with Van Halen was "inevitable", and now the rumors say "rocket surgery" is about to happen. But no deal as of yet (or at least it hasn’t been announced). It’s supposedly a 40-date tour, no word on how many cities or which ones.
 
Now for the "sort of" Van Halen…Michael Anthony is still playing for Sammy and may not tour. So Eddie’s son Wolfgang is supposedly pegged to play bass for the band. Dave is older and slower, has short hair (they’re plugs, too) and his voice ain’t anything like it was 25-30 years ago. Eddie had mouth surgery for cancer, so his voice for back-up is probably non-existent, plus he had a hip replaced so he’s not going to run the stage any more…and he looks in worse shape than Keith Richards (which is saying a lot). Alex is Alex. The only one on stage with any energy is going to be some 15-year-old kid.
 
Would I go? Sure…got screwed four different tours to see Van Halen, and the time I finally made a show it was already known as Van Hagar…I never got to see the classic line-up with Dave. But here’s the trick: I gotta somehow go to one of the first 10 or 15 shows…the band will still (hopefully) be in their "honeymoon phase". Cuz ya know, half way thru the tour, Eddie is going to start drinking and transform into a diva version of Axel Rose and probably fire Dave again…

T.O. just can’t shut up

Posted: January 23, 2007 in Uncategorized
Bill Parcells retires from coaching the Cowboys, and sez it wasn’t Terrell Owens’ fault. Naturally some sports writer has to get Owens’ opinion on the matter…
 
"T.O. said that Parcells fostered an unhealthy locker room environment."
Translation: "I took notes from a true master"
 
"Parcells…did not offer and words of encouragement after his accidental overdose"
Translation: "Seriously, the text messaging feature of my phone don’t work for shit"
 
"When I talked to him for the first time we left an impression on each other"
Translation: "Neither of us heard a goddam word the other said"
 
"I was underutilized in the offense"
Translation: "The high percentage of balls thrown my way doesn’t count! I couldn’t catch them because of (broken hand, broken finger, tight hamstring, tripped, was too lazy, Bledsoe was quarterback, Romo lost his composure, etc), so Coach always favored Terry Glenn.
 
"But my teammates know I could have done more."
Translation: "I didn’t throw EITHER quarterback under a bus"
 
"(Parcells) is like my grandmother. You love the person, but they are stuck in their old-school ways."
Translation: "The old fart actually thought he could coach a football team well enough to win a Super Bowl! Ain’t that a hoot?"
 
Britney Spears asked to be in a commercial for the NFL Network. They turned her down, saying "She’s too much of a train wreck. Besides, we already have Paris Hilton". It must have been like trying to choose between barfing in the sink or the bathtub…
 
Doesn’t matter to me, tho’…I’m still pissed at the NFL Network for stealing Thursday Night Football, plus stealing numerous weekend games that I used to be able to watch (Comcast doesn’t carry this network, the bastards).
 
It felt like a kick in the gut Sunday. Even with Chicago’s help by calling timeout with two seconds left, the ‘hawks blew it on the final possession of the first half, then pulled ahead in the second half but unable to win in regulation. We usually suck in OT, and no suprises here. I couldn’t even pay attention to the Chargers-Patriots game. Tobeck retired almost immediately, Strong will likely retire, we should see a couple of other players retire, Holmgren is on the fence about retirement, we’ll probably release Winstrom and Hammer…it just won’t be the same next year.
 
But you all probably wanna know who I think will go to the Superbowl…
 
Colts over Patriots: I kept thinking it would be impossible for Indy to win last week with post-choke Manning, and sure enough, not a single touchdown…all points were scored by the former-Patriots FG kicker, the same guy who put the winning points on the board in three different Superbowls. I think Manning is actually going to play decent as well, it’s not likely that he’ll suck three games in a row. Plus, it’s FINALLY a cozy home dome game, no frozen tundra this time. However, there’s this nagging little voice in the back of my head that’s saying, "But it’s the Patriots, dude!"
 
Saints over Bears: Chicago’s defense couldn’t stop a QB with two broken fingers from engineering numerous scoring drives…now they have to go up against Drew Brees. Plus, it’s another cozy home dome game, no bone-chilling winds or torn up, muddy field. And who was that who played QB for the Bears last week? It wasn’t Good Rex, it wasn’t Bad Rex…it was Mediocre Rex. Now we have to wonder which of THREE Rexs is going to show up.