Letterman Top 10 and various ramblings…

Posted: January 11, 2008 in Uncategorized
Haven’t done a Top 10 submission in awhile…wish me luck on winning a t-shirt (I sure as hell sucked trying to win a new TV…)
Top Ten Little-Known Facts About Mike Huckabee
  • The initials on his personalized luggage and towels are "MF"
  • Legally changed his name from "Mike Huckaloogie"
  • Once was a star of Mexico’s "Lucha Libre" wrestling circuit…used his real name, nobody got it
  • Fluently speaks Bee-Latin
  • Got the endorsement of Chuck Norris because he has one helluva roundhouse kick
  • Once traded pick-up lines with George Clooney
  • Wife’s maiden name is McCain. Whoa, hold on there just a second…WHAT?!?
A manufacturing defect in the F-15 Eagle fighter jet caused one of them to split into two pieces while making a turn at 500 MPH a few weeks ago, and all jets were grounded to be checked out. Many passed inspection, but about 40% of the Air Force’s fleet are still grounded and may never fly again. Now the service is trying to determine whether Boeing would be liable for the defect after 30 years. Oh, please…even if they DID get 20-year warranties on those planes, they should have expected them to start falling apart right after the warranty expired…that’s how it works for my stuff, why should the government get a free replacement after 30 years? And I don’t repeatedly slam my stuff onto concrete at 100 MPH or throw it across the room at supersonic speeds, either…
A golf commentator joked that in order for the competition to take on Tiger Woods, they should "lynch him in a back alley". In all honesty, it probably wouldn’t be funny if it weren’t true…Tiger can kick everybody’s ass in golf without putting his beer down first. So she gets suspended and apologizes, Tiger publicly sez it’s OK with him, but Al Sharpton thinks none of this is good enough. He sez, "Lynching is not murder in general. It is not assault in general. It is a specific racial term…". Really? First, I thought the idea of lynching was to "hang until dead"…and it kinda hurts, too. That’s not murder or assault when done by a lynch mob? Second, how many times did Captain Jack Sparrow have a noose around his neck? And when I was watching cowboy movies as a kid, there were lynch mobs, and there was lynching going on. Perhaps the best of these films was "Hang ’em High". Pulling back that bandana to show the lynch scar…you knew someone was seconds away from dying. Oh well, I learn something new from the dear Reverend every year…this year I learned that Clint Eastwood and Johnny Depp are black. Shouldn’t Sharpton be running for President or something?
My NFL picks were quite awful this year. Oh well, I’m quite happy with the Seahawks win over the Redskins, hopefully their defense can be just as efficient at Green Bay, and the offense will just suddenly click to the "on" position.

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