Posted: January 15, 2008 in Uncategorized
So I walk in late for our bowling date, and get added to a team…I was given three straight frames to catch up. I jokingly complain that I don’t get a warm-up toss, to which I’m told nobody else did either! OK, fine…first two frames: both strikes. The rest of the game was just like everybody else, get some, miss some. Then I hit three strikes on the 10th frame. Scored a total of 149. I thought that was easily my best game, but somehow I scored 149 on my third game as well, which I though was pretty mediocre. I’ll never understand how scoring works in bowling. And the inside of my hand between the thumb and index finger is kinda hurting…
As goes bowling, it’s a nice seque to politics…today New York Rep. Charlie Rangel decided to open his mouth concerning Barack Obama’s admitted drug use as a youth in his autobiography, stating, "For him to be honest enough to write about it, I guess he thought it might sell books." Oh, look, kids! A politician who is guessing! I wonder if he uses this same excuse when his own voting history is repeated back to him. But I digress, perhaps intelligent people would "guess" that Obama decided to be honest because he knew that years later that lying about it could become a major scandal should he ever decide to run for President of the United States or something and be called a liar when the Republicans dug up his dirty laundry. Nah, who am I kidding, I’m sure money was the only motivation…
Dozens of people in Texas claim they saw a UFO, and they are afraid it signifies the end of times. When told that the Cowboys lost to the Giants on Sunday, the realization of their fears set in…half committed suicide, while the other half blamed Jessica.
A website that some may think could have helped my wife and I two years ago is pretty cool…it’s a "rat on your neighbor" site called rottenneighbor.com. The people who started it seemingly did it out of revenge, but ended up learning from it. They claim nuisance neighbors fall into one of two groups: those who are rude, brutish and just don’t care, and those who are simply ignorant of your side of the story. Well, my neighbors fall into the first group, and are also simply ignorant. Knocking on their door at four in the morning (more than once) didn’t make much of an impression on them, but after receiving several letters from Animal Control, I think they finally realized I wasn’t kidding around when knocking on their door at four in the morning (I was being proactive…step #5). Their dogs have been blessedly quiet until daylight lately…
Britney Spears used to be pretty. She used to be sexy. She used to be able to visit with her kids. Well, at least she’s still allowed to participate in an activity loosely based on manuevering a motorized vehicle. Hopefully no one takes away her right to wear underwear again…
In another "Oh god, why doesn’t this person just go away" department, Clay Aiken thought Monty Python was an actual person up until three months ago. Now this never-has-been got himself a starring role in Spamalot, and after rehearsals he was so sore that he couldn’t get off the toilet. Sez Clay, "It hurts so bad. I don’t know if it’s I’m not coordinated or using muscles I never had to use before". If you can imagine what Eric Idle would say, you understand why I’m not even going to attempt a joke here.
Finally, Smurfs are 50 years old. No, I’m not kidding. They celebrated by getting drunk and conducting forest-wide home invasions of the 150-year-old Keebler Elves.

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