Stupidest. Man. Ever.

Posted: January 16, 2008 in Uncategorized
Yes, I’m talking about Pacman Jones again. He claims he wants to play football next year, but obviously not that badly…his favorite hangout is still the local strip club, and his favorite past-time is still getting into trouble at the local strip club. This time, the club managers apparently stole his money and bracelet. Why, or more importantly HOW they stole a bracelet and cash from Pacman is left for us to guess…anyway, Mr. Trouble got angry about being "robbed" by the establishment, so he gets violent with one of the club owners…a woman. There is a lawyer present…also a woman. The lawyer apparently isn’t doing anything outside of handling a divorce case…and conducting her work in a strip club. The lawyer apparently isn’t being accused of stealing from Pacman, but he allegedly makes several threatening moves at her, then decides to sucker-punch the lawyer in the eye. Even if Quentin Tarantino himself wrote a script like this for a movie, the studio execs would laugh him out of town.
The NFL is supposed to review Pacman’s status for re-instatement after the Pro Bowl, a few short weeks away. I can imagine how it will start: "Mr. Jones, your chosen community service while suspended was to give away tickets to young kids to a wrestling match that you were starring in, but didn’t actually wrestle. You can’t stay out of strip clubs. You let a woman rob you blind. You punched another woman. Are you trying to solidify your status as the biggest pussy in NFL history?"
Big news over the last few weeks is that numerous famous friends of Jennifer Aniston are trying desperately to fix her up on dates and get the poor girl laid. Not a single one of them has called me. Yet.
My prediction for the Conference Championships: Patriots and Packers in the Super Bowl. The Dynasty vs. The Legend. If the Patriots have to lose one game this year, I would love it if Brett Favre engineered that win.

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