These guys are OUT!

Posted: September 24, 2008 in Uncategorized

Just after the final game to be played at Yankee Stadium, the team has been eliminated from the playoffs. Darn, I was really hoping they would make it so we could watch A-Rod choke again.

The owner of the Detroit Lions obviously listened to his kid, cuz we find out this morning that Matt Millen is also out. All across the state, football fans are throwing going-away parties for Millen…however, he hasn’t accepted any invitations, since he would rather be burned in effigy than be burned alive.

Plaxico is out of the game against the Seahawks Oct 5. The doofus had played hooky all summer and whined for a renegotiated contract…now that he has the money, what does he go and do? He gets suspended one game for playing hooky. Yup, he’s a bag of chips, too.

Right after an ass-whoopin’ by the formerly winless Seahawks, the Ram’s highest-paid player, Marc Bulger, is out. Last year they were devastated by injuries, this year they’re devastated by ineptitude…but the QB takes the heat. You’re not seeing Carson Palmer, Derek Anderson or John Kitna getting benched, right? Lame…

T.O.’s latest book is out. Right now you’re probably thinking, "He’s written other books…?" Hey, it’s understandable if you didn’t know that, since he’s the one athlete who doesn’t write about sticking a syringe into some other guy’s ass.

Clay Aiken is out. Of the closet. He’s admitted to People Magazine that he’s gay. I’m shocked. You should be, too, cuz he thinks "the news may overwhelm some of his fans". So get started on your overwhelming, folks.

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