NFL Predictions, week 13

Posted: November 26, 2008 in Uncategorized
If I had remembered to make my picks in time for TNF last week, I would have picked 11 games correctly. As a result of my mistake, I’m not even in the top 4K on the leaderboard. Heavy sigh…

Titans over Lions: Many hoped to see the first time an 11-0 team went up against an 0-11 team on turkey day. Me, I correctly picked the Jets to win last week (and the Lions to lose again, of course…)
Cowboys over Seahawks: Every expert picked Seattle to win the division, even as late as the fifth week. I don’t see a street being named after Holmgren this time…
Cardinals over Eagles: Warner is getting a lot of MVP talk, even tho’ Drew Brees has better numbers. McNabb getting benched last week indicates to me that Philly is getting stupid-desperate.
Bills over 49ers: Buffalo started to slide, then came back strong last week.
Ravens over Bengals: Cincy players were spotted forming a line at the post office to buy stamps…
Colts over Browns: I want to pick an upset here: I saw way too many wobbles from Manning last week, but his passes are still connecting, so…
Packers over Panthers: I just can’t pick Carolina because of their record…the Pack is better than their record, and playing at home (has the tundra formed yet?)
Dolphins over Rams: I want to pick another upset here, but I think Miami really does want to win now.
Jets over Broncos: NY beat the last undefeated team last week. Better adjectives: pounded, strangled, humiliated, spanked.
Saints over Bucs: See comment above about Drew Brees.
Giants over Redskins: This should be a hard-fought game. I really want to pick Jim Zorn, but every time I consider it, I think of that TV…
Falcons over Chargers: Nobody can figure out what happened to SD, I’m just going to stop trying. Ok, maybe it’s cuz LT is almost a non-factor this year.
Raiders over Chiefs: After beating Denver, they have a winning attitude now. And no, I couldn’t type that without laughing, but c’mon, they’re playing KC…
Patriots over Steelers: I sure hope this is the TBA game listed at TV Guide…
Vikings over Bears: I don’t think I’ve picked the Vikings correctly all season, it’s driving me nutz.
Texans over Jaguars: MNF at home…that doesn’t happen much for Houston, they should be really fired up.

NFL Predictions, week 11

Posted: November 13, 2008 in Uncategorized
Last week, four games I picked wrong were decided by 5 points or less…dammit. The real brainfart was picking Detroit only because of Culpepper. But I do have two upset games predicted.

Patriots over Jets: I wish Comcast wasn’t so damn greedy, this might be a very close game. But I’m going with home field.
Falcons over Broncos: I just don’t think Denver can string two games together, and Atlanta is the biggest surprise in the NFL this year.
Eagles over Bengals: Welcome back to reality, Cincinnati
Packers over Bears: So very close last week, Green Bay is probably on a mission this week, and playing at home. Da Bears QB this week is…
Colts over Texans: I think Indy is finally getting things in a groove
Saints over Chiefs: Just a hunch
Dolphins over Raiders: Just another hunch
Ravens over Giants: Upset game of the week #1. NY needs a little jolt at home to humblize about
Bucs over Vikings: Tough call. Going with home field
Panthers over Lions: Fool me once…ok, so nobody fooled me, I fooled myself
Titans over Jaguars: They have to lose a game sometime this season…my guess is they’ll wait until Thanksgiving (wouldn’t THAT be a hoot)
49ers over Rams: A little better organized, and SF could have squeaked one out last week against the first-place Cards.
Seahawks over Cardinals: Upset pick of the week #2. Matt’s back, playing at home, and SF showed the West how to compete against Arizona
Steelers over Chargers: Hunch number 3
Redskins over Cowboys: Game of the week. Romo is back to guide the most-talented offense of disfunctional individuals in the NFL with a splint on his pinky. The ‘skins like the taste of Jim Zorn Kool-Aid, and they’re playing at home.
Bills over Browns: Too many seasons that Buffalo started strong, then faded away. Is it happening again? Well, they’re playing the Browns, so…

NFL Predictions, week 10

Posted: November 5, 2008 in Uncategorized
Went from the best week I’ve ever had to the worst week I’ve had in a
long while, and my leaderboard rank plummeted to 3382. My only solace
is that Peter King also had his worst week of the season, beating me by
one game. Ah well…

Ravens over Texans: Baltimore’s D is going to be too much for Houston
Browns over Broncos: Fresh QB, but Denver’s D is really sucking right now
Falcons over Saints: My upset pick of the week
Titans over Bears: Tennessee is just clicking, Chicago is all beat up, and Urlacher isn’t the same guy anymore
Lions over Jaguars: You might
think it’s the upset game of the week…but Detroit’s offense is
tickled fucking pink to have a QB like Culpepper calling the signals,
and they’re all going to raise the level of their game
Dolphins over Seahawks: Seattle has seldom been able to win in Miami, and Hasselbeck is still OOF
Packers over Vikings: Green Bay lost in OT last week, they’re going to be fired up this week
Patriots over Bills: Going with home field on this one
Jets over Rams: Favre made a
couple of bad decisions last week, but otherwise he did what I hoped he
would do: play within the system, don’t always try to force a big play,
play not to lose as much as to play to win
Panthers over Raiders: I need
to send my resume to Al Davis. I always wanted to coach an NFL team,
and it doesn’t seem like anybody with actual experience coaching
football wants the job…
Steelers over Colts: Who knew Leftwich was actually a good QB? This could be a shoot-out.
Chargers over Chiefs: KS put on a good show last week, actually kept the game close, but it won’t be the same story against SD
Eagles over Giants: They’ve both got some swagger going, they both hate each other intensely, going with home field for national TV
Cardinals over 49ers: Despite Arizona’s record, and solidly all alone in first place in the NFC West, who the hell is going to watch this game?

So, what does McCain do NOW?

Posted: November 3, 2008 in Uncategorized
It’s the day before the election, and sadly, we find out that Obama’s grandmother has died. She won’t see the boy she raised be elected as the nation’s 44th President.

At Camp McCain, there was a chorus of "ahhh SHIT!"


Person 1:
"Dammit, now we have to deal with sympathy votes."

Person 2:
"Well, there goes Florida…"

Person 3:
"Do we have John make some sort of statement of condolences?"

Person 1:
"Yeah, get the old man on the phone."

Person 3:
"How should his statement read?"

Person 1:
"Well, it better not be anything like she was taken at such a young age, that’s for damn sure."

Person 2:
"So what tactic do we employ about this for our side?"

Person 1:
"Does John have a sick grandmother?"

Person 2:
"No, she died at the turn of the century."

Person 1:
"She did? I don’t remember using her death for sympathy votes during the last campaign eight years ago."

Person 2:
"I meant the 19th century…"

Person 1:
"Oh. Right. OK, people, ideas…"

Person 4:
"How about John’s house suddenly burns down?"

Person 1:
"Which one?"

Person 4:
"I dunno…his least favorite?"

Person 2:
"C’mon, we’re dirty politicians, not arsonists."

Person 3:
"What about Sarah?"

A hush falls over the room.


Person 1:
"That would leave John without a running mate."

Person 4:
"Yeah, but think about it: huge press. National day of mourning."

Person 3:
"And we get a do-over."

Person 4:
"Yup, half of America doesn’t think she’s ready to take over."

Person 2:
"And she’s a bitch."

Person 1:
"Not like Hillary, but I get your point. OK…cause? Car accident? Plane goes down?"

Person 4:
"Hit man."

Person 1:
"Hmmm…cheaper, easier, less collateral damage, big game changer…I’m liking it…"

NFL predictions, week 9

Posted: October 30, 2008 in Uncategorized
11 of 14 wins last week came from the home team. This week, I think it’s going to be more diverse…

Jets over Bills: I think this is the week that Favre realizes that he can’t force things so much, and needs to play within the system…well, mostly…
Bears over Lions: Could this be an upset, and Detroit finally wins one? Umm…no.
Jaguars over Bengals: Could this be an upset, and Cincy finally wins one? Umm…no.
Browns over Ravens: Cleveland mixed it up on offense last week and won…mixing it up with Baltimore is going to be necessary to beat their defense, but I think they’ll do it.
Packers over Titans: What, a decisive win over the Colts doesn’t relieve them of paper-tiger status? A win over Green Bay should help. Switched: GB is coming off a BYE, two of their key defensive players are returning, Rodgers is happier this week, and the Titans only real foe so far this season was the Colts…and the Pack beat them, too.
Bucs over Chiefs: I almost want to pick KC this time. Almost.
Rams over Cardinals: St. Louis has really turned it around the last three weeks, and they want to stay in the hunt. Besides, the last time they wanted Warner to win was when he quarterbacked them to a Super Bowl…
Texans over Vikings: Tough call. I might switch on this one.
Broncos over Dolphins: Going with the very cold, thin air advantage.
Falcons over Raiders: Just a hunch.
Giants over Cowboys: Originally, this was one of the biggest games of the year. Now the statuesque Drew Bledsoe…excuse me, Brad Johnson…is under center…for a few plays, anyway.
Eagles over Seahawks: Welcome back to reality, Seattle. God, I hate saying that about my own team…
Patriots over Colts: Originally, this was one of the biggest games of the year. Now Brady is OOF, and Manning *can* be beaten. Cassell’s stats show he has been playing like a first-year Brady, which if you recall, the situation didn’t turn out too shabby for the Patriots that year…
Redskins over Steelers: Originally, this was NOT one of the biggest games of the year. Now it’s the game of the week. I think Washington will exploit Pittsburgh’s front seven, and repeatedly put Big Ben on his back…that’s the formula other teams have used to beat these guys (re: Giants last week). Yes, I’m still pissed at them…

No TV again

Posted: October 27, 2008 in Uncategorized
My best week ever predicting NFL games: I got 12 of 14 correct, and also got the Titans score of 31 correct (I guessed 24 for the Colts, but they only scored 21). If the Steelers hadn’t imploded for the entire 4th quarter yesterday, I quite possibly would have won a new TV, but instead it looks like the big winner this week is Brooklynnet with 13 correct (unless that person lost in the MNF tie-breaker with somebody else…no way to know for sure). Only 9 people in the top 200 on the leaderboard predicted 12 games correctly this week, and my overall score jumped a little bit more to 1835 (obviously, quite a few people picked the Colts to win).

Ahhh well…try again next week.

Damn you, Pittsburgh!

Posted: October 27, 2008 in Uncategorized
Up until the last seven minutes, I thought I might actually go into MNF with only one wrong game prediction! But nooOOOOooo…Pittsburgh’s offense decided they didn’t need to gain a SINGLE FUCKING YARD for the entire fourth quarter! Hey, pulling an intentional safety worked for the Saints today, BUT THEY HAD MORE THAN TWO POINTS ADVANTAGE ON THE BOARD, you fucking morons! All your safety did was to TIE the game and allow the Giants an opportunity to win on a single score! Oh…you say you didn’t mean to pull an intentional safety? You really did suck donkey balls throughout the fourth quarter? Sorry, my bad…

Ohhhh, I’m so pissed at Pittsburgh. Even if the Titans do win tomorrow, it’s unlikely I’ll win the TV cuz I’ll only have 12 of 14 games picked correctly.

However, 89% picked the Jags over the Browns, 80% picked the Bills over the Dolphins, and 76% picked the 49ers over the ‘hawks…my overall standings skyrocketed from 4300 all the way to 2115! The weird thing is that the scoreboard doesn’t reflect the Texans/Bengals game yet. However, a quick look at the leaderboard shows three different people inside the top 100 with 11 correct picks, which means everyone who already has 11 picks correct needs to have picked the Bengals to win just so I would have a shot at an MNF tie-breaker…if Pittsburgh had decided to play during the fourth quarter, at any time, I’d probably be in the running for best picks of the week!

And to think I blamed the refs at the Super Bowl…

So I’m not out of contention yet, I suppose