Archive for June, 2006

It’s so hot that…

Posted: June 28, 2006 in Uncategorized
The Seattle Times had a contest for joke phrases for how hot it was on Monday. I couldn’t believe the number of people who got published for using really old, known jokes! I actually came up with an original that got published.
 
No, I don’t get a mousepad for it…
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Newsweek published an interview with Superman Returns director Brian Singer today. To one question, Singer answered, "…I can confidently tell you that ‘Superman Returns’ is the most heterosexual movie I’ve ever made."
 
As "Wrangler" Bob Barber famously said in Rustler’s Rhapsody, a real Good Guy has to be a confident heterosexual.
 
Of course, Superman is no lawyer, but I think perhaps this debate has been laid to rest…

Close, but no cigar

Posted: June 26, 2006 in Uncategorized
Letterman’s Top10 was pretty close this week on several entries…a few of mine were somewhat similar to the winning submissions:
 
Top10 Reasons BillG is Stepping Down From MS:
 
Mine: More time needed in order to get a decent haircut
#9: Wants to spend more time in search of a decent barber
 
Mine: No more software companies left to destroy
#5: Ruthlessly crushing the competition just doesn’t bring the joy it used to anymore
 
Mine: He wants to save Brangelina’s kids
#2: Thinks if he devotes more time to charity work he might have a shot with Angelina Jolie
 
OK, so the winners were a bit more funny than mine. Hey, it’s just a stinkin’ mousepad…as if my MX700 needs anything other than a RatPadz…

MySpace: it’s not enough!

Posted: June 24, 2006 in Uncategorized
Safety experts warned, "new security measures for young users of MySpace.com won’t be enough to stop online child predators". This shocking revelation comes on the heels of a $30M lawsuit filed earlier this week, claiming MySpace didn’t take sufficient steps to protect underage members…regardless of numerous warnings MySpace makes apparent to members.
 
There are several problems here. First, kids just don’t understand the dangers, they feel safe sitting at the computer inside their home, and they think only "friends" would want to see their blog. With this, they don’t see anything wrong with propping pictures of themselves, friends, their home clearly showing house number, their neighborhood; or posting personal information such as city and last name, where mom and dad work, etc; or talking about events/activities, times and locations. Even with the smallest bit of info, a predator can zero in on where you are located within just a few minutes (this isn’t just useful knowledge for kids…adults should be aware of these info-divulging tidbits on their own blogs as well).
 
Second, parents still aren’t involved in their child’s Internet habits as they should be. After 12 years, you’d think parents would realize just how dangerous the Internet is, but no…they let their kids surf without supervision, let them create blogs without approving what the kid sez in the blog, etc.
 
Third, there really is no air-tight way for a corporation to protect kids on the ‘net, primarily because either the kid will lie or the predator will lie to get past any "protection mechanism" that is set up. There might be a parentally-approved blog and list of sites the kid is allowed, but does that stop the kid from creating new accounts at MySpace or Passport or just about anywhere else? No, and kids always like to challenge authority and have their secrets. And the predator will always lie, it’s the single-most important social tool predators have, so that’s just a given.
 
What’s the safest thing to do? Get off the ‘net. But that’s not a solution for people in love with the "information age", so the next best thing is to get involved. Learn the dangers. Watch your kids ‘net use (and your own use, too). And keep in mind: if the predator wants to find you, that predator will do anything to find you…and may just be successful, even if you think you are taking all the proper measures. Just one piece of info can cost you your anonymity. Even worse, do friends post info about you/your kid?
 
The ‘net is not safe, treat it that way.

AOL still suxors

Posted: June 20, 2006 in Uncategorized
Quitting AOL back in ’97 didn’t work for me…I had to quit three times before they stopped charging me my monthly fee. I still want my $75 back. Then they went thru the v5.0 debacle that killed dial-up networking in Windows for all ISP accounts except for AOL, for which they conveniently blamed Microsoft and told all of their customers to call MS, costing MS hundreds of thousands of dollars in PSS, then eventually settling a class-action lawsuit in 2002 for $15M. Then there was the double-billing scheme the following year that landed them another class-action lawsuit.
 
Have they learned the error of their ways? Consider this: some guy actually recorded a phone conversation with AOL to cancel his service…it only took 45 minutes! And he propped the recorded conversation to the web, becoming an instant celebrity.
 
Me, three months…him, 45 minutes. And he only had to suffer hard-sell tactics and insulting questions. So I guess they actually ARE being more tolerant of their customers who wish to leave their humble abode…
 
In other news, wasn’t this one hell of an NBA Finals? Naturally, the best part is that Kobe was nowhere to be seen…but it was almost the equivilent of the reverse-sweep! And Game 5 was absolutely awesome. I just wish I had seen more of the play-off games, this was one of the best post-seasons the NBA has ever had.
 
And now this week’s submissions to Letterman’s Top 10 List:
 
Top Ten Reasons Bill Gates Is Stepping Down From Microsoft
  • Every desktop now has a computer…mission accomplished!
  • He got insulting scores on his last yearly employee review
  • He wants to save Brangelina’s kids
  • No more software companies left to destroy
  • He wants to persue his real dream: racing Indy cars
  • Two words: "President Gates"
  • He’s nailed all the "software babes"
  • More time needed in order to get a decent haircut
  • He’s tired of being referred to as "Just one big ATM machine"

Tune in next week to see if one of my submissions wins me another shiny new mouse pad…

Say, aren’t you a legend?

Posted: June 17, 2006 in Uncategorized
We had a team moral event at the pool hall in Lincoln Square on Friday afternoon. A good time had by all. I was dressed a bit snazzy, wearing slacks and a nice shirt, and even had my shoes shined at Nordstrom’s just before arriving (got crap from Berge, too). I had to go back thru the mall to get to my truck, so I perused thru Nordstrom’s on my way out (it was the half-yearly men’s sale…damn, it was crowded). I’m checking out the shaving accessories when I notice a salesperson asking if help was needed..but he wasn’t asking me, he was asking the older gentleman next to me. That gentleman turns toward me, and I suddenly realize…
 
It was Lenny Wilkens.
 
Assuming IF you have the audacity to actually speak to this man, what the hell do you say? Me, I didn’t even think about it…I immediately put on a sly smile and said, "Say, aren’t you a legend?"
 
The first look on his face was kind of stunned. Maybe it was the "legend" thing. And although I was properly dressed in this particular establishment, my hair is a bit of a throw-off, maybe that was it. Who knows for sure. But he quickly gave me a smile, and shook my hand, asking me, "How are you?" I just smiled a little differently and said, "Good, thanks".
 
Then I turned and continued browsing the store.
 
And that was my brush with one of the greatest men in NBA history. w00t.

Wear a helmet

Posted: June 12, 2006 in Uncategorized
It’s simple: the NFL will penalize you if you so much as take your helmet off on the field of play, even if the play is dead, and yet Superbowl quarterback Big Ben from the Steelers won’t wear one EVER on a motorcycle. Quote: "…the big thing is to just be careful."
 
Dude, it doesn’t matter if you are "careful" on the world’s fastest motorcycle, because there are just too many people wrapped in steel boxes that have no concept of two-wheeled vehicles…why the heck do you think so many riders have bumper-stickers on their cars advising "Look twice, save a life…motorcycles are everywhere", hmmmm?
 
So some old lady in a big-ass Chrysler New Yorker makes a left turn in front of him, and he hits the side of her car. I’m sure he had the right-of-way and she simply didn’t see him coming, but that’s small comfort after receiving a nine-inch gash introduced to the back of your head, getting both your jaw and your nose broken, and losing most of your teeth.
 
Terry Bradshaw told him to ride when he retires. Ben ignored that advice…but at least now Ben can have the same smile as Bradshaw…